Countless Reasons Why
by Twipotterfreak28
Summary: Sequel to 7 Reasons Why. "Hi. I'm sure you know who this is. My name is- was- Hermione Malfoy. If you're listening to these tapes, then you get to hear about my life, and most importantly, how it came to be this way. If you're listening, then I'm dead," Her voice sounded through the speakers. "But... a good kind of dead. A peaceful kind. This is my- no, this is our story."
1. Win some Lose some

**~PLEASE READ~**

_Hey guys! So… I promised you a sequel, and I plan giving that to you. I have sort of a story line. I know how I'm going to end this, and I know where to start off. Everything in between is a mystery._

_I enjoy the 7 Reasons Why stories, but I wish I liked them more. I love that you guys love them, but for me, it's sort of… eh. Anyway, I will work on replying to reviews this time around!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, like usual. All original characters are mine. This story will be OOC, and if you can't handle that, you really shouldn't be reading this. Flame me if you want, just sign in so we can talk about it. I don't bite ***cough*** very hard ***cough***._

_Beta'ed by Sophia Lena Duchannes Riddle… who is amazing, mind you._

**(Hermione pov)**

* * *

_Change is never easy._

_You fight to hold on._

_You fight to let go._

* * *

_"Hermione…"_

None of this…. None of it was supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to be me. No, I wasn't meant for this.

Hadn't I been through enough?

Everything… taken from me. My parents, my virginity, my life. And now… I was sure death had captured the only thing tying me to this earth.

I couldn't find him. He was gone.

I felt… I felt so dirty. I felt like I betrayed him. He promised me everything… he gave me every part of him… and I had left him for dead.

None of it should have happened.

I kissed Ron. It was a spur of the moment thing. All those months of being on the run… all those times of being tortured… he said he loved me. I said I could never love him. He didn't listen. The feel of his lips on mine… his tongue sliding against my bottom lip… It was wrong. It felt unnatural… it felt like I was betrayed the one person who went to the greatest lengths to keep me alive.

I belonged with Draco. Not Ron.

And now… he was gone.

_"Hermione…"_

I had tried so hard to keep him safe. The order agreed to protect him, but only if he would fight on our side. He hastily agreed, telling me he would do anything to be close to me. And then… Harry, Ron and I left. I just left him at that wedding. He wasn't supposed to know… no one was but us… but I still abandoned him. After everything I'd done…

He was probably dead with the rest of them.

Corpses littered the floor and the sharp, metallic smell of blood hung low in the air. Lavender… Fred… Tonks… Remus… Colin… Snape…

All of them… nothing but a pair of lifeless eyes and an unmoving body.

None of them lived. None of them really lived. They had so much life left in them… only to be viciously snatched away because of one man. Because they weren't good enough for his world.

But they were good enough.

Even Lavender, who hated me with every fiber of her being, deserved to live past 17.

Blood covered my hands and every free spot on my clothes. Images of the dead kept playing before my eyes. Images of my torturer… my rapist… my bullies… my lost friends… my parents…

My love.

He was gone. And without him, there was nothing.

_"Hermione…"_

That one, little voice kept calling my name. It sounded a lot like Harry.

Merlin… I had killed people. Even if they were death eaters, they probably had families. I took mothers and fathers away from their children. Spouses away from their other half. Sons and daughters away from their parents.

How different was I from them?

_"Hermione… please… say something to me…"_

It was Harry. I could feel his hands rubbing my shoulders. I could hear him talking with other people about me.

I had been staring at a blood spot on the floor this entire time. I moved my head the slightest bit and saw him sitting in front of me. There was a crowd of people behind him, staring at me with what had to have been concern.

_But that's stupid. They couldn't care about me._

My eyes connected with Harry's bright green ones, but I said nothing. He waited for me to respond, but I continued to stare. Part of me registered that I was sitting in a corner of the great hall, and that the war had just ended.

Harry had just killed Voldemort. Everything we had been fighting for, for the past 7 years, was now ours. The world was safe. Voldemort was dead. We could all move on.

The problem was… I didn't know how to do that.

"'Mione, are you there? It's okay, it's over now," Harry prompted, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands in his.

I still couldn't speak. I just stared into his bright green eyes… and waited for something to happen. I waited for tears to spring to my eyes and uncontrollable sobs to escape from my throat, but they never came. I was too numb for that right now.

"Where is she! Where is Hermione!" I heard someone yell.

_No… H-he's dead… I left him and he's dead…_

"Hermione!"

"There's Draco," Harry whispered, moving out of the way.

And finally, a streak of blond hair was visible pushing through the crowds. Draco, my Draco, was pushing his way to me. He kneeled in front of me, his face a mess of blood and dirt, and took my hands into his. He was shaking so hard he could barely breathe.

"Please… please tell me you're okay," He choked out. "Tell me that you're okay."

"You're hurt," I mumbled, completely void of emotion.

He just sighed and put on a sad, sad smile. He moved my arms so that they were around his neck, put his arms under my knees and my back, and hoisted me into the air, firmly gripped by his hands.

"Move," Was all he said.

Soon enough, there were whispers asking _'what happened to Hermione Granger?'_. Everyone stared as he carried me away from the great hall, toward the shattered remnants of Hogwarts.

We stopped somewhere along the way and he set me down on a flight of stairs. There were red streaks and broken rock everywhere.

"Hermione, please, tell me you're okay."

And the funny thing was… I couldn't hear him after that. I don't know if he said anything else, or if he tried to move me, or if he just sat there with me all night. Everything became dark and there was nothing. There was me, trapped in a suffocating black bubble with no way to get out.

And some point, time began to mean something again. I was till sitting on the stairs, and it was dark outside. The dead bodies were no longer scattered everywhere, but lining the walls with sheets thrown over them. Filch was in the corner sweeping, and there were random couples sitting together, whispering words of reassurance to each other.

Then, I started to cry.

I cried because of… everything. I cried for Harry, for losing his parents, being raised by people who hated him, and having to give up your childhood to fight a deranged lunatic. I cried for the Weasleys, for them losing Fred; for George, for him losing his twin. I cried for Lavender, Colin, Padma, Fred, Remus, Tonks, Mad-eye, and every dead soul who once walked these grounds. They shouldn't have been taken away.

I cried for Teddy, for being orphaned at such a young age, not unlike his godfather.

I cried for Draco, mostly. He'd left his entire life behind for me. His home, his way of life… his father. I abandoned him, yet he was still here, still trying to make it better for me.

And I cried for me.

I cried for everything I had lost, everything I would never get back. For every life destroyed by my hands, a sob escaped my throat. For every drop of blood spilled, every broken hearted spouse, and every devastated child, all caused by me, another tear streamed down my face.

And at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to believe in happily ever afters. I wanted nothing more than for them to be real.

"Hermione," Draco whispered.

I hadn't noticed I was clutching onto him with every muscle in my beaten-down body. I eased my hold on him just enough so that he could pull me into a standing position.

"D-don't l-leave me," I sobbed. "I-I can't d-deal with t-this by myself..."

"I'm not leaving you," He said firmly, lifting me into his arms again. "I'm taking you away from this place."

There was no home to go to. Death eaters had killed my parents and my home was no longer mine. Grimmauld Place had been cursed. Malfoy Manor was filled with too many painful memories.

_Where would we go?_

**(Draco pov)**

**_*one week later*_**

"I think Hermione needs professional help."

I dropped my fork down onto my plate, causing a shrill clank to sound across the burrow. I looked over at Potter with a look that clearly said 'what the bloody hell are you talking about'.

"Look, Mal- Draco, I've seen the way she's been acting. It's not just this past week; I've seen it for a while. She obviously has things to deal with that she can't on her own, and I think-"

"It's been a week. Give her a break." I interrupted, picking up my fork and putting another spoonful of casserole into my mouth.

"Draco… Harry's right, dear." Mrs. Weasley said, coming in from the living after hearing what Harry had said.

Right after the war, I had taken Hermione straight to the burrow. No questions were asked as the Weasleys saw me carrying in a half-aware, sobbing Hermione. That first night she had slept for 10 hours, probably because her body was still in shock and needed to recover.

The last six nights were hell.

She screamed and cried in her sleep, and I wasn't allowed to wake her, because that would have made it worse. She would've assumed that an attacker was grabbing her, which would damage our already lofty relationship.

I hadn't seen her in months, and the first thing she did was apologize.

After I had gotten out of the hospital last year, Hermione took me to the burrow and asked for protection from the dark lord. The rest of the evening was spent debating about how untrustworthy I was, how I was probably a death eater looking for a way to the light side's headquarters, and how much having me there would effect the outcome of the war.

It was then decided that my mother and I could stay at the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters, as long I agreed to fight alongside them and my mother helped Mrs. Weasley with whatever was needed. So, that's how the days were spent. I was not allowed in on their meetings, and only told the bare minimum. Then, the night of Bill and Fleur's wedding, Harry, Hermione and Weasley disappeared.

I was heart broken, to say the least.

No one knew where they were, what they were doing or what their plans were, and no one was told. It was obvious that they had been planning to escape for a long time, but something told me they didn't mean to at the wedding.

They were gone for months. I was allowed to go to the meetings since everyone thought they had lost Harry, so I'd be prepared to fight.

Then they showed up at Hogwarts, and the order was called as back up. Hermione didn't so much as glance my way, the extreme look of concentration on her scaring me.

Something had happened while they were away.

Something big and most likely devastating.

We won the war, but the price all three of them had to pay was enormous. Weasley lost a brother, Harry lost friends and mentors, and Hermione lost her parents.

So, the first thing she did was apologize to me for abandoning me. No matter what I say, she ignored me and kept apologizing. She'd say she wasn't good enough for me, and that I shouldn't be with someone who leaves me.

She still wouldn't talk about what happened.

She wouldn't say why she always wore long sleeved shirts, when it was May, either. She just didn't talk anymore. Her days were spent crying by the window sill and only eating what Mrs. Weasley shoved down her throat, and her nights were spent screaming from nightmares and feeling unsafe. Hermione was adamant that I not leave the burrow, so I had stayed there all week, sleeping on the floor in the living room, until she didn't need me around every second of the day.

She'd crawl beside me and sneak under my covers most nights, only get a few hour's rest when she was safely tucked under my arms. My mother was staying the muggle world, trying to reconnect with her sister, and meeting her great nephew. With Andromeda's loss of her husband, daughter and her son-in-law, Mum thought this would be a good time to distract her from thinking on it.

Speaking of Teddy, Harry was supposed to get him from Andromeda's next week. She insisted that, since Remus and Dora had chosen Harry as godfather, that he fulfill her children's wishes and raise Teddy. Andromeda would keep teddy every weekend, of course, but Harry was to be his primary guardian. So Harry bought a house close enough to the burrow, and was moving into it next week. He was also trying to get Hermione to move in with him.

But where Hermione went, I went.

"I guess I agree that she's been… bad right now, but I don't think she needs any professional help. Ecspecially not from some random wizard in the wizarding world." I replied, getting up and putting away my dishes.

"Dear, she's only going to get worse. If she doesn't find anyone with whom she feels comfortable enough to talk to, she'll bottled up everything until she explodes. And then there's no telling what could happen," Molly said sympathetically, patting my shoulder.

"Even if I could talk her into seeing someone, how would that work? Every therapist here would be too obsessed with Hermione as a war heroine to really help her. It'd do no good," I explained to her.

"Well, I guess you're right on that. But I still think-" Harry tried, only to be cut off when Mrs. Weasley gasped and Bill and Fleur came into the room.

"Merlin, why didn't I think of it before! Arthur, come here!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, a small smile spreading across her face as she waited for her husband to come down the stairs.

"You called, Molly-wobbles?" Arthur smiled, coming into the kitchen to hug his wife.

"Yes! You remember Anastasia Camowate, don't you?" She asked, facing Mr. Weasley.

"How would I know this person?"

"She was the girl with the four-colored brown hair in our year at Hogwarts, remember? When we graduated, she-"

"Threw her glasses at Lucius Malfoy and snogged Leo Taylor right on the stage!" Arthur laughed, obviously remembering who this Anastasia girl was. "How could I forget? Minerva has that picture framed in her office! Did you hear that those two got married? We were invited, but you were pregnant with Charlie at the time, so I didn't think to-"

"That's not impor- wait, they got married?" Mrs. Weasley, started but promptly cleared her throat when Harry nudged her in the side. "Right. Anyway, didn't she always talk about becoming a therapist?"

"Yes," Her husband replied. "She wrote us years ago and told us so."

"Oh. Well owl Kingsley and get the girl's address!" Molly said, pushing Arthur into the leaving room.

"Yes, dear," Arthur sighed as he left the room.

"Mum, what was that about?" Bill said, just when Molly started to cook something.

"Molly, ees everything okay?" Fleur asked, squeezing Bill's hand.

Before she could respond I spoke up.

"Everything's fine. Nothing to talk about." I said curtly, bustling out of the room and walking up the stairs.

I made sure to walk very quietly as I passed the twins' room, because George was still asleep and needed every bit of sleep he could get. He was a right mess with Fred here.

Very slowly, I pushed open the door to the room Ginny shared with Hermione, to find Hermione sitting on the floor in front of the window, and Ginny watching her, as if she wanted to say something. When she saw me, she nodded and hastily exited the room, patting me on the shoulder as she went.

"Hermione, love?" I called, closing the door behind me. When she didn't move, I went and sat beside her on the floor, grabbing her hand in the process.

"I'm sorry," She whispered.

"Hermione, please don't," I replied, scooting over so that I was in her direct field of vision. "I need you to do something for me, love. You probably won't like it, but it's necessary."

"Anything," She whispered, finally making eye contact with me.

"You need to see a therapist," I said firmly, making her snatch her hands out of mine and get up off the floor.

"I'm not_ crazy_, Draco," She hissed at me, pacing around in a large circle.

"I know you're not. I never said you were."

"Then why do you want me to see a therapist? I'm fine." She said curtly, crossing her arms.

"No, Hermione, you're not fine. You're anything but fine," I replied, getting off the floor, continuing to watch as she paced around and thought about something. "Hermione, you're not talking. You're not eating, you're not sleeping… I don't want you to keep hurting yourself if there's something that could potentially help."

"But there's nothing wrong!" She screamed, before stomping out of the room and down the stairs.

"Hermione, wait!" I called, following after her.

"I sent the letter out to Kingsley-" I heard Arthur start to say, just before Hermione made it downstairs and stomped into the living room.

"Hermione, stop!" I called again, as I made it there too.

She was sitting on the floor by the fireplace with her head in her hands, her body shaking with the unmistakable motions of someone crying. Harry, Bill, Fleur, and the Weasley matriarchs watched her anxiously from the kitchen Ron, Charlie, Percy and Ginny sat outside next to the door, but you could tell that each of them were craning their necks to listen. The only one who wasn't there was George, who was probably still sleeping in his and fr- his room.

"Hermione…" I said softly, slowly starting to walk over to her.

"I need you to take me home," She whispered, looking up at me with red, puffy eyes.

"Okay," I nodded quickly.

"No, I need you to take me home… to my parent's house," She whispered again. "Now."

"Okay," I said again, grabbing her hands and hauling her off the floor.

I didn't say anything else. I simply took her hands, told Harry we'd be back soon, and led Hermione to the fireplace. Hermione had the Ministry set it so that her fireplace would floo back and forth to the Weasleys and St. Mungo's.

"Granger residence." I said just loud enough, throwing the powder down and grabbing Hermione's as the green flames engulfed our bodies.

As we stepped out of the fireplace, I noted that their living room looked much different than the last time I had seen it, which was over a year ago. There was no furniture and no pictures hanging on the walls.

Hermione asked her cousins to move everything out of the house four days ago. Legally speaking, Hermione was not old enough to own the house which her parents had left her, so it went to her grandmother. But her grandmother didn't want the house, or anything in the will, so she asked Hermione what'd she'd like to do with it.

Hermione thought she would never be able to live in the house again, so they were going to sell it. Sell every last piece of furniture, totally redo the house. The only thing Hermione wanted to keep was a locket her father had given her mother, and all of the pictures in the house.

"Oh my gosh," Hermione whispered as she clutched my hand and started to sob.

She'd told me every day for the past week that she needed to say goodbye, properly. She'd wanted to say goodbye to the house she lived in for the better part of her life, to the town she once resided in, and most of all, her parents. I never wanted to bring her here, but she made me promise to.

"It… it's like t-they never l-left," She sobbed again.

She let go of my hand and started to walk around the tiny living room. She touched the faded walls, the spots where pictures once hung, the indentions of furniture and everything in between. She was probably remembering all of her childhood, that was spent in this house. Back when she thought she was just a regular human, destined for the ordinary.

Things had changed for her- _for everyone_. Unfortunately, the price of that change had been costly.

Some of it had been paid in blood.

Hermione had then gone upstairs, mumbling something about her bedroom. A few minutes later, she came down sobbing and shaking more than I'd ever seen. She wordlessly wrapped her arms around me and cried into my chest, all the while stuttering about her parents.

"I did this to them," Hermione cried. "They n-never should have died… If it w-wasn't for me… they'd still be alive… why couldn't I h-have been n-normal-"

"Hermione, please, don't do this to yourself," I mumbled against her hair.

"W-we need to g-go," Hermione swallowed, pulling away and grabbing my hand. "We need to go to the cemetery."

"Hermione… we don't have to do this today," I whispered, squeezing her hand back.

"You want me to get better," She said, wiping her tears away while moving toward the front door. "You want me to be myself again. I never got to say goodbye to them, Draco. I never got to tell them how much I loved them, or that I was sorry… or anything. If you want me to try and get better… I need to see them."

I nodded and let her lead me out of the house, past the dead rose bushes, past her mailbox where the word _'Granger'_ was fading, past every house, and toward a gated section at the very end of the street.

Harry told me that Hermione never got the chance to give her parents their memories back. Since they didn't know who they were, and no one claimed their bodies, Hermione's grandmother claimed them after showing pictures of Hermione's parents getting married. They were both buried on the Granger family plot, in the cemetery down the street from her house.

She led me past the large iron gates and toward the very edge of the field, where 6 headstones were separated from the rest. There were two bouquets of flowers sitting in the middle.

"T-that's them!" Hermione suddenly cried, sprinting over to the two flowers. "There hasn't b-been time to get h-headstones, yet."

"I'm so sorry, love," Was all I knew to say.

So instead, I let her grieve. She cried and screamed and sat in front of their graves, until she settled into a comfortable silence and began to talk to them. She said that she was sorry for obliviating them, sorry for not saying_ 'I love you'_ enough, and how the war turned out. I stood watching a few feet away, until Hermione waved me over and patted the grass next to her. I slowly crouched down and sat beside her, my hand on her knee rubbing I slow, small circles.

"Mum, Dad, this is Draco," She sniffed. "He's… uh… he's my boyfriend."

"Hello Mrs. Granger, Mr. Granger," I said, feeling a little silly just talking to a dead couple's graves, but if it meant a lot to Hermione, I'd do it for her. "I promise I'm going to take good care of her."

"I don't think you would've liked him, Daddy," She sniffed again, followed by a small giggle. "But I'm sure you would have eventually. He's… he's good to me. He really is." She laced our hands together and turned to face her mother's grave.

"I'm sorry you never lived to see everything you wanted." She whispered into the wind. "You always said that you couldn't wait to see me in a big white dress with daddy walking me down the aisle. Or how you'd spoil your grandkids rotten and there was nothing I'd be able to do about it. And I remember that you wanted to move to Australia when daddy saved enough money to retire. I'm so sorry that you'll never get to do any of those things."

"I love you both, so much. You always took care of me, always made sure that I was loved," She started to cry again and put her other hand in her hair. "There was a dark time in my life… there still is… but I'm just so sorry that I didn't talk to you when I had the chance. You would have told me that you loved me, and that everything would be okay, and you would have sung my favorite song until I felt better."

She stopped talking for a while, and just put her head in her hands. I didn't know what to do, so instead, I talked for her.

"Um, like Hermione said, you wouldn't have liked me, sir," I said. "I was a horrendous little boy that used to pick on your daughter daily. But I want to tell you that I've changed, and I plan on telling her that she's beautiful everyday for the rest of her life. Not a day will go by that she doesn't know how much I love her. I promise that she'll never have to worry about anything as long as I'm around, and she'll always have everything she needs."

"Thank you, Draco," Hermione whispered, not yet bringing her face out of her hands.

"I meant it," I said, just to make sure she knew.

"We're going to go now," She said, grabbing my hand and standing up. "I don't think. I'll ever be able to say goodbye to you. So… I love you, and I'll see you both really soon."

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her as we walked back down the street, no direction in mind.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, before she sighed and turned to me. "Take me back to the burrow, Draco. I'll see a therapist, but I want to live somewhere that I won't be a burden, as soon as possible."

"Hermione, you're not a-"

"Yes, I am, the Weasleys are still grieving over… over Fred. George refuses to come out of their room, and they have enough to worry about. They don't need me to add to their troubles." She said, her voice dropping to a low whisper. "I'm falling apart, Draco. I'm falling apart so fast that it's hard to understand it all. There's just so much... there's so much that I wish hadn't happened, and I don't know how to deal with it all. I'll do whatever I have to and try to be myself again... but I can't be at the burrow everyday. It's just too much..."

"It's okay," I said, cradling her face. "I'm not going say that I understand how you feel, because I don't. But know that I'll be by your side everyday, for as long as you'll have me. We all want to heal, and we want you to heal. You're not a liability, Hermione. You're just going through something no one else understands."

I gave her a soft, small kiss on her forehead, before bringing her body closer to mine. I took her hand, led her back into the house and over to the fireplace in a slow, steady walk.

"The Burrow," I said, grabbing some floo powder out of my pocket and throwing it down into the fireplace.

When we stepped out, all of the Weasleys, sans George and Ginny, and Harry were sitting in the living room, as if they were waiting for us. When Hermione saw this, she quickly ran up the stairs and back to Ginny's room.

"She'll go," I said, putting my hands into my pockets and walking into the living room.

"That's good," Molly said as she came behind me and handed me a piece of paper. "I think it's best that you write to Anastasia, dear."

And with that, she left me an already addressed envelope, a piece of paper and a quill. I took the name off the envelope and started to scribble down on the paper.

_Anastasia Camowate,_

_I was informed that you were a therapist in the muggle world. Your old classmates, Arthur and Molly Weasley, told me to contact you. There is a girl whom I know that needs your help. She's agreed to see a therapist, because recent events have caused her quite a bit of stress and sadness. She's given me her full consent to contact you, so this isn't something being down against her will._

_The reason I'm asking you specifically is because she doesn't need anyone from… our world… to see her. They might be too distracted by who she is to really make the effort. Please reply as soon as possible, the owl will know where to go._

_This really is a matter of urgency. Please do not dismiss this._

_Sincerely,_

_Draco Malfoy_

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**~PLEASE READ~**

**A/N:** _Well okay then, we're off to a good start, aren't we? Anyway, my mojo has run away and I've just recently caught it. Thanks to my awesome beta, who bounced ideas around with me. Thank you to Kohana Moon, who will help me with Hermione's therapy sessions. Hermione will not always be this submissive, just so you know. She's just scared and doesn't know how to feel. The Hermione you all love will show up soon enough._

_I got the sense that this chapter was a crappy way to start the sequel, but it needed to be said. So, did you come here from 7 Reasons Why? How'd you like it? Do you think the sequel will be any good? Really, these things write themselves, but I have a basic story outline. Please review, I'd love to know who's going on this journey with me! -Nikki a.k.a- Twipotterfreak28_

**Random facts:** _I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. In fact, it should be the 8th wonder of the world. My beta has a thing for triple chocolate ice cream. What's your favorite flavor?_


	2. Dream of a better place

_Hey! So... I've had people ask me how I can write these stories, and even had some people question my mental health, since I've been able to write this with such realism. So I'll tell you. I have the emotional capacity of... about 2 million teaspons. I'm just a very... in-touch person. I don't take anyone's sh*t and I stand for what I believe in. Please read the A/N at the bottom._

_Beta'ed by **Sophia Lena Duchannes Riddle**. Therapy sessions are co-written by **Kohana Moon**. (There'd be no story without these amazing ladies; leave them some love!)_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. This story is OOC and if you can't take the fact that I don't write completely in character, I don't give a damn who you are, go read something else. Very mild cursing. This story is now rated M, not because of smut or sex (a little of that will happen eventually), but because of the cursing and strong emotional tragedies. Not appropriate for the kiddies, yes?_

**(Draco POV)**

* * *

_In war..._

_There are no unwounded soldiers._

_**-Unknown**_

* * *

_Mr. Malfoy,_

_If you would please call the number at the bottom, using a muggle phone of course, we can set up an appointment for your friend. Please note that, based upon your friend's situation, solo sessions are probably the best option, but not required. My office, where the sessions wil be held, is located in Surrey. Business hours are between 9 and 6, and we can go over more when we set up a meeting. Please call between those hours, for I will be unreachable otherwise. Or if you feel so enclined, the address of the office is listed below the phone number. Business hours are the same._

_Sincerely,_

_Anastasia Camowate Psy.D._  
_Clinical Psychologist_  
_Serenity Counseling_

I sighed and dropped the letter on the table. It had taken 3 days to get a reply, all of which Hermione had spent with Ginny. She'd been making an effort to participate more, and I smiled every time she asked Molly if she needed help.

In all truth, Molly didn't need help, but she always sent Hermione to make a pot of rice, or fold a few shirts, or mend a torn pillow. Anything to keep her occupied.

Hermione still wouldn't take off the long sleeve shirt she was constantly wearing. Yesterday while she was sleeping, a small amount of her arm was visible just over the shirt. I could see the unmistakeable form of an 'M' carved into her porcelin white skin. Not wanting to push, I didn't say anything to her, knowing she would tell me when she felt she was ready to talk about it.

I folded the letter back up and made my way into the living room, where Harry was sitting on the couch with Hermione resting her head on his shoulder, the sounds of sleeping eminating from her. Harry only glanced at me, then went back to staring into the blazing fire. I'd learned that Harry liked watching the flames, but with it being May, it was entirely too hot. He'd put a cooling charm over the fireplace so he could sit in front of it.

"I got a letter from that therapist," I spoke lowly to Harry as I sat in the chair in front of him. "She wants Hermione to go set up an appointment."

Harry carefully set Hermione's head and legs on the couch and scooted to the far end, so that when she turned over in her sleep, she didn't fall off and didn't grab at Harry.

"When?" He said in the same frequency.

"As soon as possible," I sighed, glancing at Hermione as she slept. "I thought I'd take her in an hour or so. The office doesn't close for another four hours."

Harry nodded curtly, leaned back, and continued to stare at the orange and crimson flames Hermione made for him earlier. He seemed to want to say something, for he opened and closed his mouth several times, glancing at me more times than I could count.

"Listen, Draco," Harry sighed, then threw his hand in his hair to smooth it out of his eyes. "I want Hermione to live with me."

"Harry, you know that wherever-"

"Wherever Hermione goes, you go. Yeah, I got that the first 5 times you said it," He interrupted me. "Which is why there are four rooms in the new house. Mine, Teddy's, Hermione's... and yours, if you want it."

My eyes widened and I struggled to keep my mouth closed. It was... almost incomprehensible that Harry Potter- _Bloody Saint Potter_- would willingly want me in his house.

Despite the fact that I had changed drastically, mostly for Hermione, there were still a few lingering feelings of bitterness I had for the chosen one. It wasn't that I resented him any longer; I left that predjudice behind when I joined the light side. But as much as I hated to admit it... I was jealous of him.

A_ Malfoy_ jealous of a _Potter_.

It kind of made me want to vomit. Not that I'd ever tell anyone that.

Hermione's relationship with Harry was..._ easy_. As easy as being with a sibling. They cared for each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and if something terrible were to happen to one of them, the other would be the first one to try and fix everything. There was nothing romantic or sexual in the kisses Harry would plant on Hermione's forehead, nor in the looks of admiration Hermione would return to him, but it still made my blood boil.

Not because Harry was touching Hermione. It evoked anger in me because I wanted Hermione to look at me like that. I wanted to be able to kiss her without fearing that she would be scared, touch her without her being reminded of the terrible thing she endured when she was 13, and most of all, I wanted to have the natural love between us that she and Harry seemed to share.

Someday, I hoped we'd get to that point.

"Thank you for the offer, Harry," I replied, fiddling with the ltter in my hands. "But I don't think-"

"Forget about your damn pride for just a_ fraction_ of a second," The sudden hostility in Harry's voice startled me. He then took a deep breath and lowered his voice so he didn't wake Hermione. "If everything you said about you loving Hermione and wanting the best for her wasn't a complete load of shit, then why are you being so bloody difficult about this? I've asked you for three days and still you say no. Why?"

"History," I said barked lowly at him. "Face it, we don't have the best one. We'll end up killing each other."

"Forget about our last names already, you gormless bugger!" He yelled this time, startling Hermione, making her shoot straight up on the couch. "Damnit, I'm sorry 'Mione. I didn't mean to wake you."

"N-No," Hermione's voice shook as she rubbed her eyes. "I'm fine. What's going on?"

Hermione looked straight into my eyes, hoping I would answer. I merely glanced at Harry and he looked right back, the fire still evident in his glare.

"I'll be outside so we can finish our conversation." He gritted through his teeth, storming out of the house and into the backyard.

"Draco, what's wrong with him? Are you okay?" Hermione asked, worry dripping off her words.

"Nothing, love. I just... said something that didn't sit well with him. I'll be right back," I leaned over and kissed her hand, before standing up and walking out of the room.

"Please don't do anything stupid," She mumbled as she laid back down on the couch and drew a pillow close to her chest.

I sighed and walked through the back door to see Harry standing by the tree, staring at the house down the road that was soon to be his.

"You called?" I asked, barely keeping the sarcasm out of my tone.

"Ever since the day I met you, I've always wondered something," He said, not even bothering to look at me. I mumbled_ 'okay'_, making him turn around and glare at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, bewildered.

"I didn't stutter, Malfoy!" He snapped.

_Back to the last name basis, I see._

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." I replied, folding my arms over my chest.

"Okay then, tell me this," He sneered. "Why are you so bloody fixated on our last names and our past history?"

"You can't expect me to change my _entire_ way of thinking in a matter of months," I gritted out. "I've been bred to hate you, Potter. You and your family were nothing but scum to mine. Our fathers hated each other to their bones, and you want me to just forget about that?"

"Hell yes!" He yelled. "Damn it, I fought in a bloody war so people like you would be given the chance to get over your stupid predjudices!"

"People like me, huh!" I yelled back at him.

"Yes, people like you!" Harry threw his hands in the air and started pulling pulling at his raven locks. "People who are so caught up in the past that they miss out on everything life has to offer! People who think that last names and heritage dictate everything! People who think muggle-borns and half-bloods are-"

"You know I've changed!" I started to scream now.

"I know you have, but that doesn't change the fact that you're being so bloody stubborn about being anywhere near me!" Harry screamed too. "I don't hate you, Malfoy! I stopped hating you a long time ago! What I don't understand is why you are so fixated on the fact that we are _supposed_ to hate each other!"

"Oh that's easy for you to say, Saint Potter!" I insulted him. "Anyone who was stuck in a bloody cupboard for 10 years would love to be all buddy-buddy with anyone who so much as glanced their way!"

Harry lunged at me and we ended up sprawled on the ground, throwing punches and hoping one of them would connect. Harry hit me in the stomach and caught me off guard for a moment, and used it to get on top of me and hold my arms to the ground.

"How do you know about that, Malfoy!" He yelled.

I kneed him in the groin and landed a punch to his nose, then rolled us over so that I was on top of him, holding his arms to the ground.

"Word travels fast amongst the Slytherins,_ Potter_."

With one last kick to my leg, he got the upperhand for the last time, and began punching me repeatedly in the face.

_One._

There was a gasp in the background.

_Two._

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

_Three._

"Stupify!"

The fourth hit never came and I felt Harry's weight disappear off of my torso. I painfully opened my eyes to see Harry laying on the ground a few feet from me, holding his stomach and moaning lowly in pain. I then realized the same sound was coming from me.

"Honestly!" Ginny Weasley's voice echoed through the yard as she helped each of us get up, then stood in between us. "Why are you two so bloody angry at each other all the time!"

"This," I panted, holding my bleeding face and gesturing around around with my hand. "Was _not_ my doing."

"Did you throw the first punch, Harry?" Ginny asked matter-of-factly to Harry.

"Yes, but-"

A resounding smack was heard as Ginny slapped Harry clean across the face, making me chuckle.

"Ow, Gin!"

"And you!" Ginny accused, then stomped over to me and slapped me in the same manner she did to Harry. "Stop provoking him and get over whatever issue you have!"

"But I-" I started

"Shut it!"

"Ginny, he-" Harry started.

"I said shut your mouths!" She silenced us.

We both started to talk at the same time, until Ginny groaned, grabbed both of our hands, and led us to a shed to the edge of a backyard.

"Get in," She growled.

"No way!" I yelled.

"Not with him!" Harry yelled.

"Get in the damn shed or I will hex both your arses so badly there will be nothing left to sit on!" Ginny growled, louder this time.

Safe to say, we both sprinted into the shed.

"I have that letter, and I'll take Hermione to that office and get everything straightened out. See you in 4 hours," She grumbled as she shut the door in our faces.

I immediately started banging on it.

"Let me out, Ginny! I have to take Hermione to that bloody therapist_ myself!_" I yelled.

"It's soundproof, Malfoy," Harry groaned. "Scream all you want, no one will be able to hear you."

"Well I'm not going to spend four hours cooped up in a shed with you to keep me company!"

"They call it the time-out box. Whenever two people are arguing, they lock them in here for hours," Harry sighed, then glared. "And what makes you think I want to spend some quality time with you?"

"Incedi-"

_"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"_ Harry smacked my wand out of my hand as I was about to cast the spell on the door. "If you set this shed on fire, we burn with it! Are you really _that_ daft, Malfoy? There is no getting out until they open the door!"

"Well at least I'm trying to get us out, unlike you who thinks of this as a bloody picnic!" I replied, picking my wand back up and pointing it at the door. "Alohomora!"

Nothing happened.

"Alohomora!"

More nothing.

"Quit wasting your time and sit down, Malfoy."

_"ALOHOMORA!"_

_And cue the disappointment._

I sunk down to the floor and sat cross-legged across from Harry, narrowing my eyes as he handed me a bottle of water.

"It's not poisoned, if that's what you're thinking," He rolled his eyes and drank from his own bottle.

I hesitantly took the bottle from him and drank, almost moaning when the cold liquid hit my throat. We both sat there, either wiping blood from our faces or holding some bruised part of our bodies, staring as if we were supposed to say something.

"Thank you for the water," I mumbled.

And so began the conversation that would forever change my so-called friendship with Harry Potter.

* * *

**(Hermione pov)**

_Draco moved his hand back and forth over my protruding belly, smiling and whispering words to the child that lay inside. The silver ring on his left hand matched mine, save for the diamond ring that sat just before mine. He looked as if he were the happiest man in the world, and to me, that was all that mattered._

_"Hey baby," He whispered to my stomach, a kick inside my body coming on as if the child understood. "Mommy and Daddy love you very much."_

_I said nothing, just stared at the gorgeous, loving man who sat beside me on our bed. He kissed my forehead and gripped my hand, going back to whatever he was talking about._

_"What should we name you, hm?" He sighed, kissing my stomach. "Mommy thinks you're a boy, but I know you're a girl."_

_"I'm telling you, he's a boy," I smiled. "I can tell by the way he kicks me so hard."_

_"You're just a little scrapper, aren't you? I guess we'll show Mommy that she's wrong when you come out, won't we, nugget?" He whispered. "She doesn't like that I call you nugget, but she won't let me name you yet. Even though I'm hoping you look like an Ella."_

_"He will look like a David," I said pointedly._

_"David," Draco snorted. "Our child will come home crying everyday if we name her David."_

_"Him," I said firmly._

_"Whatever you say, love," He smiled, before pushing his lips against mine. "Hermione."_

_"Yes?" I asked._

_"Hermione." He said again, not even looking at me._

_"Draco, what is it?" I pressed._

_"Hermione... come on..." He cooed, just before he disappeared out of my reach._

_"Draco!" I screamed, panic overriding everything else._

"Hermione, wake up!"

"AGH!" I was jerked back to reality to see a certain redheaded girl standing in front of me with a goofy smile on her face.

"Hello, sunshine!" She grinned. "It's time to go!"

"Go? Go where?" I rubbed my eyes tiredly as I sat up and straightened my clothes.

"To make your therapy appointments, of course!" She replied, taking my hand and hauling me off the couch. She then handed me the letter, talking after I finished reading. "Draco and Harry are... er... otherwise occupied right now, so I'm taking you."

"Ginny," I said carefully, narrowing my eyes. "Where are they?"

"They may or may not have been fighting, and I may or may not have put them in the time-out box... and I may or may not have said I'd come back for them in four hours," She replied sheepishly.

"Ginerva Molly Weasley!" I gasped. "They'll kill each other! We have to do something!"

I started to hyperventilate.

_Just bloody great._

"Hermione, deep breaths," Ginny rubbed my back. "It will be very beneficial. Trust me on this, okay?"

I could only nod as I struggled to breathe again, part of me still in shock of that dream.

"Let's go. I have your shoes and your purse," Ginny handed me my things and led me out of the house. "We can apparate into Diagon Alley and go from there. That is, if you're up to it."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said emtionless, still fixated on the dream.

It just seemed so _real._

We reached the apparation point within a few moments. I closed my eyes, pictured the joke shop, and apparated with Ginny by my side. A few seconds later we were in the stock room of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, the uncomfortable sensation of apparating still lingering in the pits of our stomachs.

"I swear, I'm going to puke one of these days," Ginny groaned as she dry heaved.

"Uh huh," I said, disinterestedly.

"Are you okay?" She asked as we walked through the joke shop, waving to the man who was temporarily running it for George.

"What?" I turned to see her full of concern. "Oh, yes, I'm fine. Just... thinking."

"Well could you think a little less? You're bound to run in to something, and you are the one with the better sense of direction," Ginny laughed, dragging me to the brick wall signifying the end of the alley. She tapped on it with her wand a few times, the wall opened, and I was dragged through the pub and out onto the sunny streets of muggle London. "Now how do you get there?"

"Excuse me," I tapped a young woman on the shoulder who was standing a few feet away. "Do you know how to get here?"

"Serenity Counseling?" She asked in a high-pitched voice as she looked at the address on the letter. "Oh, its just a little ways down this street; it should be on the left. It's a two-story white building."

"Thank you!" Ginny smiled as she took my hand and led me down the street, until we came upon the white house. "Ready?"

"Yes," I answered.

We walked inside and were greeted by a perky secretary sitting at the front desk. Once we explained that I was the girl who was mentioned in the letter, she handed me a clipboard to fill out. I put my grandmother's address and her phone number, knowing she would pass along the message if there was one. After I was finished with the papers, we sat down in the waiting area, for the therapist was with someone else right then and we would have to wait another 5 minutes.

While we waited, I thought about my dream. The only dream I'd had in months that wasn't sad, depressing, or down right horrific. The dream just seemed so very... plausible, I guess. It didn't feel as real as my other dreams. It felt like an alternate reality that I knew didn't exist... but I didn't know it. I guess that made sense. But it made me wonder where Draco and I were going to be in ten years. Would we still be together? Would he get tired of waiting for me to work things out and find another girl? Would he want more than I was willing to offer?

I knew I wanted to have a family. As a child, I wanted nothing more than a husband who loved me and a baby that I carried. But now... it felt almost wrong to want that. I did not want to ruin a child's life by raising him or her the wrong way, and I didn't want to thrust all of my worries and problems onto my husband. But still... I knew that if Draco wanted me, or at least I forced myself to think this, that I would give in. If he wanted to marry me, I would say _'I Do'_. If he wanted a baby, I would ask _when_. I still couldn't fathom that he would want me over everyone else, but Draco always told me I would understand how much he loved me, one day.

There was one thing that worried me beyond compare, though:

_Sex._

I hated that I wasn't a virgin. Yes, it was important to me because I didn't believe in pre-marital sex, but that was not the only reason I wished I was still a virgin. It didn't matter to me whether or not other people saved themselves for marriage, because it wasn't my life to live. Ever since my mother had set me down and had _'the talk'_ with me, I knew I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved, and that loved me in return. I wanted to give that to my husband, because I felt that it would show him that I loved him. Show him that I hadn't let anyone touch me until he came along.

Now that I didn't have that, I felt incredibly sad. My first time had been completely against my will, with a man who cared nothing about me and only wished for his own satisfcation. He'd hurt me in more ways than I could count and the emotional trauma still lingered to this day.

What if Draco wanted to have sex with me?

That thought seemed very blunt in my head, but it didn't matter, since it wasn't vocalized. But what if Draco _did_? How would I tell him about that night when I was thirteen? Would he be gentle or would he be rough?

You can't be with the _'Slytherin Sex God'_ and not have a few questions about his sexual history and intentions.

"Alright Harold, I'll see you next week." I heard a feminine voice come from the back.

"Bye." Came the voice of a man as he walked out of the building and onto the street.

"Miss Granger?" The secretary said. "Dr. Camowate will see you now."

I took a deep breath and walked with purpose to the room marked '1'. I opened the door and closed it after Ginny came in, then turned to the woman sitting in a chair and stuck out my hand.

"Hello," I said before she spoke. "Um... I'm Hermione and this is my girlfriend, Ginny."

She nodded and smiled, and I suddenly realized what I had said.

"No no no! I mean... she's my best girl... friend. We're just friends, that's all," I stuttered, blushing and looking down.

"It's quite alright, Hermione," The woman smiled back at me. "We all get tongue-tied now and then. It's nice to meet you."

"Well... I'll just go wait outside, then," Ginny said before patting me on the bak and exiting the room. I then took a seat on the white couch in front of her.

"My name is Anastasia Camowate, but you can call me Anna, if you'd like." She smiled, twisting her pen in her hands. She saw that I was obviously nervous, put down her pen and turned to face me fully. "It's alright to be uncomfortable or nervous. This is probably very new to you."

"Yes, it is," I answered shyly.

"As a patient, there is the standard confidentiality agreement. You can speak your mind and say whatever you'd like, and it will never leave this room, unless you disclose ongoing criminal activity, or pose an danger to you yourself or others," I nodded and she continued. "If I were to see you out in public, I would not ignore you, I just would not approach you unless you acknowledged me first, so as to not make you uncomfortable."

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Sometimes I will push you to answer a question, because I'm here to help, but only if I think it beneficial to helping you. It won't happen often, but those types of situations are to help you analyze the situation we are discussing. We can talk about whatever you would like to say, and there is never a wrong answer," The smiled returned to her face. "Today is just about me getting to know you. Nothing hard, just a few basic questions."

"Ask away," I breathed.

"Do you have any hobbies?" She asked, eying me but keeping the smile on her face.

"Well... I like to read," I said a little louder.

"What do you like to read?"

"Classics."

"Classic literature is very interesting. I've read many and it is a passion of mine, also," She said. "Tell me about your friends?"

"Well," It was my turn to smile. "My best friends are Harry and Ron, and Harry's girlfriend, Ginny. Ginny is also Ron's little sister, and they have 5 more siblings. They're all my very best friends and we've been around each other since I was 11. And then there's Draco-"

I cut my sentence off and put my hands in my lap.

"I'm sorry... that was too much," I mumbled.

"It's alright, Hermione, we're here to talk today. Just getting to know each other a little better," She said gently, crossing her legs on the other side and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "What would you like to get out of these sessions?"

I was taken back by her question. What did I want? The main reason I agreed to therapy was to make Draco, Harry and the Weasleys feel better but what did I really want?

"I don't know, Mrs. Camowate," I said loudly. "I came here because my... boyfriend and my friends wanted me to try and heal from- well, you obviously know why I'm here," I strayed away from actually saying the word 'war'. "But I guess... I just want to feel normal again."

"Go ahead, Hermione. I'm all ears," Anastasia took her pen and notepad out again.

"Sometimes I just feel like everything is pressing in on me, making it so that I can't breathe. I just want to feel some sort of happiness that every other unaware girl out there gets to feel. I'm angry and sad and confused... but I want to feel like myself again. That's what I really want to get out of this, to find the old me and bring her back."

"That is an excellent goal that you can defintely achieve," She said after she finished writing. "What day of the week would be best for you to come back?"

"Um... Mondays, I guess," I said, picking uo my purse.

"Is Monday at 2 o'clock alright?" She asked.

"That's fine."

"Alright, then. We can start with one session every week, for an hour. If you feel the need, you can have two hours a week, but we'll start with one," She wrote it down on her and notepad and put that away. "Before you leave here today, I'd like to give you an... assignment."

"On the first session?"

"It's nothing big, I promise," She smiled, getting up and opening the door for me. "I'd like for you to take some time to be by yourself this week. Alone time, per say. Buy a new book, take a bath, or even sit outside for an hour or two."

"I can do that." I replied, walking through the door and out to the lobby.

"Great. Well that's it for today, and I'll see you on Monday," Anastasia smiled, showing her perfectly pointed white teeth and walked through a sperate door, leading to a desk in the front. I nodded and grabbed Ginny's hand from where she sat, and practically dragged her out of the building.

"Everything go okay?" Ginny wondered as we made our way back to Diagon alley to grab something to eat.

"Um... yes," I answered. "It's just... _different_, is all."

Ginny said nothing more as we said hello to George and bought ice cream. We sat for a while talking about unimportant things before we decided it was time to go back to the burrow.

"How long have we been gone?" I asked her as we apparated into the burrow's yard.

"Around two hours," Ginny shrugged. "I guess I'll go get the boys, now. Two hours is good."

We walked over to the shed at the very edge of the yard, anticipation and anxiety clouding our minds. Ginny said the spell to unlock the door and grasped the door's handle.

"If your boyfriend killed mine, or the other way around, I blame you," I whispered teasingly to Ginny.

She shook her head, took a deep breath, and wrenched open the door to the shed.

What waited inside would be talked about for many, many years to come, and would be the center of our conversations for the next few weeks.

* * *

**A/N:**_ So what do you think is in the shed? What did Draco and Harry do...? I'll tell you next chapter, and believe me, it will be good. That's it for now, and I'm sorry for taking so long to update. One of my family members is in the ICU (intensive care unit) and between hospital visits and school... I couldn't find time to write. But don't worry, it will be better soon._

_Any questions? I'll try to answer and reply to reviews! Life is hard right now, but I'm trying! This chapter was NOT in the story plan and did not go as expected... but it just came out, you know? Review and tell me what you thought, every comment is appreciated. Flames go under my cauldrin and are used to make lollipops. -Nikki a.k.a.- Twipotterfreak28_

**Random Facts:**_ I talk with a southern accent. I don't say shopping cart, I say buggie. I don't say dishcloth, I say rag. I don't cook dinner, I fix dinner. Ain't and y'all are frequent in my vocabulary. Oh, and we don't all have tires hanging from our trees and alligators in our backyards, either. That would be a myth. Where are you from, and does that effect the way you talk?_


	3. Time travels fast

_This is more of a funny chapter than a serious one. I made a mistake in the last chapter, and if you didn't catch it, I won't tell you what it was. But if you did (it was concerning George) I fixed it. Look back if you don't believe me. Oh, and you guys spoil me with all of your reviews… but I love to hear from you. Call me a review addict, if you will._

_Beta'ed by **Sophia Lena Duchannes Riddle**. Therapy sessions co-written by **Kohana Moon**. (They make my story pretty.)_

_Disclaimer: See chapter 2, or have the common sense to know I'm not J.K. Rowling. Whatever bakes your apple pie._

**(Hermione pov)**

* * *

_What we don't realize is that holding onto resentment is like holding your breath._

_You'll soon start to suffocate._

**_-Deepak Chopra_**

* * *

***3 days ago***

_"If your boyfriend killed mine, or the other way around, I blame you," I whispered teasingly to Ginny._

_She shook her head, took a deep breath, and wrenched open the door to the shed._

_"Oh merlin… get the camera! Get the camera!" Ginny whisper-yelled as she tried to stifle her giggles at the sight._

_"Where is it!" I whispered back, shock playing on my features._

_"On the counter!"_

_I ran into the house as fast as I could, intent on finding that camera. As soon as I found it, I accidentally tripped and sent the camera flying. I pulled out my wand as fast as I could and whispered the levitation charm, just before the camera hit the ground and burst into a hundred pieces._

_Collecting myself, and the camera, I ran back outside toward the shed and practically threw the camera into Ginny's waiting hands, as giggles finally started to make their way to my throat._

_"Say cheese, boys." Ginny smirked as the camera flashed and printed out a white photograph at the bottom. "Oh, this is just too good. Just wait until Ron sees this… he'll be absolutely shocked!"_

_We both started to laugh hysterically._

_"A-and his face… will turn… the color… of his hair!" I wheezed out between laughs._

_That was the first time I had ever laughed like that in…._

_In a really, really long time._

_The lost action hurt my stomach and my throat badly, creating an ache that slowly built, but it was worth it. That was the only kind of pain I actually welcomed. Tears sprang to my eyes and I couldn't breathe, and Ginny and I both fell to the ground with our hands wrapped around our torsos._

_And just when we thought we were calming down…_

_"AGH!"_

_"BLOODY HELL!"_

_That sent us into an all out laughter frenzy. We watched as Draco and Harry scrambled up from their positions on the floor and tried to find their shirts, their sculpted chests gleaming with sweat and an angry look on each of their faces._

_"What were you doing, Malfoy!"_

_"What was I doing! You were the one getting handsy with me, Potter!"_

_"Oh m-merlin… m-make it stop! Make it stop!" I laughed, my breathing coming out in harsh pants as Ginny and I struggled to regain control._

_"I-It hurts… so bad!" Ginny laughed._

***Present time***

"So Hermione and I were coming back from her therapist's, right?" Ginny said animatedly as Harry, who sat beside her, hung his head in embarrassment.

I sat beside Draco at the opposite side of the table, his arm around me as we ate dinner with everyone. He looked to be just as embarrassed as Harry, for I had never seen his face such a shade of red before.

"Ginny…" Harry whined.

"Oh shut up, Harry!" Ron smirked while he chewed on his chicken. "I want to hear this!"

"Honestly, Ronald," I berated him. "Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to see the half-chewed food in your mouth." He grumbled but closed his mouth none-the-less, then turned back to Ginny.

"Anyway… Where was I…? Oh yes!" She giggled. "So I say to Hermione, _'hey, let's go get the boys out of the shed'_. We walked over and thought the boys had killed each other, and were fully prepared to see blood coming out of both of them."

"If we were a few minutes later, we might have seen _something else_ come out of them," I mumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Hermione!" Harry and Draco gasped at the same time.

"That was a good one, 'Mione!" Bill laughed as he held Fleur's hand.

"I don't get eet." Fleur frowned, until Bill whispered something in her ear and she blushed. "Okay, now I get eet."

There was laughter heard all around the burrow, even from the normally anti-fun Percy and the Weasley parents.

"So what happened?" Molly inquired, staring at her daughter with amusement.

"We opened the door and there they were, asleep." Ginny laughed.

"That's not so bad." Percy frowned.

"I wasn't finished," Ginny smirked and Harry and Draco before raising her voice. "They were cuddling with each, shirtless!"

"_WHAT?_" Ron yelled.

"Thank you, Ginny. Way to ease into it," Draco grumbled, hiding his eyes with his hands.

"No way!" Charlie gasped.

"That's too funny!" Bill chortled.

I remembered when we opened that shed. We had seen them:

No shirts, laying next to each other, hands on the other's shoulders, sweat covering their upper bodies and snores coming out of their mouths. They had looked so peaceful sleeping, and for the first couple seconds, I only surveyed their bodies.

Harry was like a brother to me, but it was hard not to notice that he had… er… _grown nicely_. The physical exercise of the past few months had definitely changed his appearance, and I had to say, Ginny was lucky to have a man that looked like that and cared for her like she was his entire world.

And then I looked at Draco.

His arms, his shoulders, his chest… Merlin, his chest… they all made me want to drool. He had thin blond hair around his belly button, leading lower and disappearing inside his jeans. His face was covered in a light sheen of sweat and his nose wrinkled in the cutest way when he heard us giggle. I immediately wanted to reach out and trace the outline of Draco's body with my fingers, kiss every inch and scar on his body, and then have him do the same to me. I had never been particularly attracted- sexually- to a male before, so this surprised me.

I had to talk to Anastasia about that.

But, of course, the fact that their naked torsos were curled around each other sort of ruined the moment, sending me into a fit of giggles. Watching them jump apart from each other like they were the plague had only caused more laughter.

They had tried over and over again to tell us that that didn't mean for it to happen, only causing us to replay the scene in our heads and distract them with our hysterical giggles.

"It's not _funny!_" Draco gritted through his teeth as he watched everyone laugh.

"It wasn't intentional!" Harry groaned as his head hit the table with a _'thud'_.

"I know," I cooed, pinching Draco's cheek. "Why don't you tell them your reason?"

"Oh yes, Draco," Charlie chuckled as he pointed his spoon at us. "Please tell us why you've decided to switch teams when you have a great girl sitting beside you."

This sent Draco over the edge. He shot up from his chair and pointed a long, slender finger at George, opening his mouth to yell.

"Oh please. If he were _really_ gay, he wouldn't have gone for Harry when I was available."

That was not Draco. Nor anyone else sitting at the table.

Every head turned towards the beaten-up stairs. There stood George, in pajamas and looking very tired, smiling at all of us as he began to walk towards the empty place setting beside me.

"Well go on, I'd like to hear why Draco and Harry are suddenly getting frisky with each other," George said as he sat down. Molly immediately started piling food on his plate, murmuring about him being entirely too thin. None of us knew what to do, so we remained silent and glanced at each other. "Please don't act like I'm glass and can be broken. I'm here now and I'd like to be included again. I'm done crying and I'm done mourning… I need to move on with my life." He added.

As if he were a mind reader, George answered the questions all of us were probably thinking.

"Fred would have wanted me to move on…. to be happy," He mumbled, looking down at his lap and then back up at us, a fierce determination in his eyes. "And you can't get rid of me that fast. So prepare for every prank in the book while I make up for lost time. Now just tell me about Draco and Harry already."

Molly nodded at us and Ginny launched back into the tale of Harry and Draco and the shed. We would occasionally laugh when George did, and when he was shown the picture by Ginny, he snickered all the way through dinner.

And I suddenly remembered how it felt to be the one that everyone watched; the one that everyone was afraid would break down at any moment.

I reached under the table and gently placed my hand on George's knee, raising my eyebrows at him as he looked at me between bites.

He gave me a nod as if to say, _I'm okay_.

I gave him a nod in return, and the tiniest of smiles, then took a moment to look at him before I finished eating.

George did, in fact, look like he was just... finished. There were purple bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep, his hair was not it's usual vibrant red, his skin was a pale cream color, and the fact that he was missing an ear made him look very beaten-down.

I wondered if I looked like that.

But his eyes… in his eyes was a fierce determination that I had only seen thrice before. I could tell that he was finding himself again, and he would use his life to honor the memory of his lost twin.

No one saw our interaction but Draco, who now looked at me with the strangest of smiles. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes, though, and he squeezed my hand to make sure I was alright.

I instantly felt calmer, more excited, nervous and full of desire… entirely at his touch. My hand tingled where he had squeezed it, and I could still remember the feel of his lips on mine. The way he kissed me gently and how he tasted like coconut and vanilla. The way the curve of my body seemed to fit his hands exactly, the way he would hold me when I cried, the way his eyes held so much depth and meaning and were the most marvelous shade of silver…

Yes, I would have to ask Anastasia about this.

We all ate as someone else talked or made jokes, and for the first time, I felt as if this was where I was truly meant to be.

In my mind, I doubted my worth and stability, but when surrounded by these people, the doubt seemed to disappear for a little while. These people… they accepted me. They genuinely cared about my safety, and wanted me to work through all of my problems and troubles.

Though my mind told me that I was not good enough for Draco, that I was not worth all of their worries, that they would all hurt me sooner or later, I finally gave in and allowed my heart to think for me, if only for an hour or two.

Here, I could speak and be heard. Here, I was safe. Here, I was surrounded by people that I loved, and that loved me in return.

So even though I knew my worries and doubts were dissolved for just a short amount of time, I still relished the feeling of total safety. I craved it, savored it, wanted more of it. The troubles would come back- I had not escaped just yet- but this would last longer than them. When I finally found myself again, when I had banished all of my troubles and all of my worries to a distant place where they could never reach me, this is what I would come back to.

And right then, at that moment, I allowed myself to just_ feel_.

* * *

"So how was your week, Hermione?" Anastasia asked me as I glanced around the cozy, white room.

It seemed very quick, the way my moment of pure happiness left me. Just four days ago we had all been sitting at that table, laughing with each and pretending as if the war hadn't phased us; And then life went on. George and I ecspecially felt the crushing blow life had throw us, for our grief and sorrow and worries had come back the very next morning. I'd had to force myself out of bed and down the steps, just so I wouldn't lay in bed all day. George hadn't woken up until 2 in the afternoon that day, stating he would go back to work in a week.

"Well... it was very... exhausting," I settled for that word, although I felt as if it didn't really fit.

"Did anything interesting happen?"

"Yes," I smiled, almost chucling at the reminder of the photo that hung on the fridge. "I found my boyfriend shirtless, in a shed, cuddling with my best friend, who also had no shirt."

It was funny who Anastasia's eyes momentarily bugged out of her head before she regained her composure.

"That's very... well, I don't know what to say," She laughed.

"It was sort of unsettling, but I laughed for a long time about it. You see, Draco, my boyfriend, and Harry, my bestfriend, had been fighting for a long time; since we were children. Ginny put them in a room together so they'd work out their problems. Draco insists that they took their shirts off because it was hot, and then they accidentally fell asleep, but everyone teases them about it. The good part about it, though, is that Draco and Harry are now friends."

"That's great, Hermione." She smiled. "Did anything else happen?"

"Um... well, I spent an hour jogging around this field, like you told me to do. It was nice to be by myself, you know? Sort through a few thoughts without anyone watching me. Oh, and George finally came out of his and Fr- his room," I still struggled with the fact that it was just his room now. "And is working at starting over. He lost his twin in the battle of Hogwarts, so he's pretty shaken up by it."

"And this would be the Weasley family, yes?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm very sorry for their loss. Arthur and Molly are good people," Anastasia sighed, then smiled again.

"Do you have any kids?" I asked before she could continue.

She pursed her lips for the slightest second, just before a twinkle formed in her eye. "Yes, I do. I have an 11 year old daughter and a 6 year old son."

"That's nice." We sat there for a few moments before she restarted the conversation.

"Alright Hermione, let's talk about your goal." Anastasia said, clapping her hands together.

"You're going to ask me how we're going to get there, right?" I said, and seeing her eyebrows raised, quickley added, "I, uh, read a book on therapy and psychology in my spare time."

"Don't be embarrassed, Hermione. You can never read too many books," Her reassuring glance made the blush on my cheeks start to fade away. "And in answer to your question, yes. How would you like to achieve your goal? Any ideas?"

"Honestly, no," I let out a humorless chuckle. "When I picture therapy in my head, I see myself laying on a couch while a stuffy therapist sits across the room saying _'tell me about your mother'_. But this is different, I can already tell. I was fully prepared to come here and start balling my eyes out at everything you said, but now I don't know what to expect."

"You can lay down if you'd like," Anastasia said, making me chuckle.

"So... that being said, I think the only idea I have right now is to talk about it," I breathed. "Maybe if I tell someone about everything that happened, it won't feel like it's pressing down on me so much, you know?"

"Alright," She nodded.

"And there's a lot of things that happened to me that I've never told anyone about. I've kept all of these ill feelings inside of me for so long that, maybe if I let them out, it will stop hurting. I know I'll be re-opening old wounds here, but a very smart man once told me that, sometimes, you have to re-break a bone to fix it."

"That is a very good idea, Hermione. Very smart. Right now, we can talk about whatever you'd like and sort through it, then we can try something different," Anastasia wrote something on her pad and then put it aside. "Have you ever tried sleep therapy? Or acupuncture?"

"You mean where they stick a hundred needles into your face and body for relaxation?" I asked, bewildered.

"It's actually very beneficial for your mind," She leaned back in her chair. "Have you ever thought about group therapy?"

"Well... yes, I have, actually," I admitted. "I feel like my friends have a right to know what's going on, and therapy would be a nice place to tell them things. But not all of them believe in therapy, and with some of them... it would just be easier not to touch on such subjects."

I spent the next half our telling her about my friends, Harry and Draco ecpsecially, and she sat there and listened. I knew that she only listened and helped because it was her job, and I was paying her for it, but it felt good to brag about my friends and their acomplishments to someone who didn't know who the hell I was talking about. So I talked, she listened, I'd stop and skip over the rough parts, and then I finished talking.

"It sounds like you have some great friends," She smiled.

"I do. They're all wonderful," I sighed.

Anastasia nodded and wrote something else on her notepad. "Alright Hermione, I think our time's about up. I have another homework assignment for you."

I felt a little embarrassed as I pulled out my own notepad to write it down on. Thankfully, she didn't seem phased by it, so I looked at her to go on.

"I want you to start keeping a journal," She said. "Everyday, for the next week, write down what you did, what you heard, what you said or something you remembered, and you how felt about it. This will allow you to, somewhat, express how you feel on a piece of paper, instead of keeping it inside all week. You can bring your journal with you every session, so we can discuss the homework. Alright?"

"Alright," I nodded and shoved my notebook back into my bag. "Thank you for listening. Bye, Anastasia."

"Goodbye, Hermione," Anastasia smiled as I left the cozy white room.

As I started to walk back to Diagon Alley, I caught sight of a small ice cream shop at the end oft he block, called 'Tristy's Treats'. Knowing I still had an hour before I said I'd be back, I decided to stop and get a scoop- or two- of ice cream.

"Hello, and welcome to Tristy's Treats! How can I help you today?" Came the loud, happy voice of a woman behind the counter. She was wearing a visor with the logo on it and an apron that fight around her waist.

"I've actually never been here before," I laughed nervously. "What would you recommend?"

"Well, that depends," She smiled as she picked up the ice cream scooper. "Do you prefer chocolate, mint, or fruits?"

"Chocolate." I answered easily.

"Then I recommend chocolate chip fudge swirl," She said. "One scoop or two?"

"Two, please." I answered, practically salivating at the ice cream she placed in the cone.

"Here you go!"

I handed the woman the money and sat down at a table in the corner near the door. I hesitantly put a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth- it looked very dark and brown- and I could have moaned at the taste.

"Are you okay?"

Apparently, I moaned out loud.

"Yes, I'm-"

I turned around and almost dropped my ice cream on the floor. There she was- after 5 years of not seeing her- standing there, visibly pregnant, with a concerned look on her face.

"Oh my gosh! Hermione Granger, is that _you?_" Her high-pitched sequealing voice rang out across the tiny business. She would have jumped up and down, had it not been for what she carried in her stomach. Instead, she grabbed my hands and shook them rapidly. "It's been so long! Why, it must have-"

"Stop," I mumbled, but she just kept talking.

"-been five years since I last saw you! How was that boarding school? Well, as you can see-"

"Please let go," I mumbled again, trying to pry my hands out of hers.

"-I'm expecting my first child soon. I'm not married, but I will be-"

"LET GO!" I yelled suddenly, jerking my hands out of hers. Her smile instantly deflated and she took a step back.

"Why are you-?" She started, until I shushed her.

"Look, I don't know how we both ended up here today, and frakly, I don't care. Ever since we were children, you never gave a damn about me. Why are you suddenly so happy to see me?" I questioned, a scowl set deep on my face.

"Well, I- I just thought that- I don't know, that since we grew up together-"

"That everything you said would be forgiven, just like that, and we'd just be best friends forever?" I spat.

"No," She said quickly.

"Well good. Because we are not friends. We never were, and we never will be," I gritted trough my teeth, grabbing my things. "So you can go back to your perfect little life and pretend you never saw me here today. Goodbye, Victoria."

As soon as I walked out of that store, I instantly wanted to go back in there and apologize for everything I had just told Victoria. Nevertheless, the small piece of pride I had left kept me walking down the street and toward Diagon Alley. I looked back and saw Victoria silently crying as she paid for her ice cream, and wiping her tears as she left the store.

I stopped dead in my tracks and contemplated running over to her and saying we could start over, but I knew it would just make things worse. I'd just yelled at one of my childhood bullies, in public, and she just so happened to be pregnant. Tears ran down my face as I ran into Diagon Alley, internally berating myself for being such a witch. No pun intended.

I appeared at the burrow and landed on the soft, green grass. where I kneeled down and I cried.

Where had that anger come from? I'd told myself time and time again that what happened in the past stayed in the past. I mean, Victoria and I were children when she picked on me- relentlessly, might I add- and I thought I'd forgiven her long ago. But seeing her there, after so long, and having her jump all over me and act like we were old friends... it hit a nerve.

"Hermione?" I heard Draco call from the house.

"Damn it," I hastily wiped the tears off my face and pulled my knees to my chest.

He ran over to me, sat down, and put his arms around me. "What's wrong, love? Why are you crying?"

"Draco, I did something awful!" I cried. "I was so mean and sh-she was trying to be nice and I just yelled at her..."

"Hermione... what are you talking about?" He asked gently.

"When I didn't know I was a witch, and I was still living with my parents, there was this girl named Victoria who lived next door," I started, still whimpering in my throat. "She was the girl with the designer clothes, and the perfect hair, and the perfect teeth, and the perfect everything. She made fun of me as soon as we could talk, and did not stop until I avoided her in fourth year. She was always making fun of my teeth and my hair, and that I actually got high grades in school."

"I'm sure Ginny would love to teach this girl some manners," Draco remarked.

"She's pregnant," I said, making him mumble an apology. "And today, I saw her when I went to buy ice cream. She was trying to be nice... but I screamed at her for it. I stormed out and made her cry."

"I think I'm a bit biased when it comes to picking sides," Draco said, pulling me closer. "But I think you should do what _you_ think is best."

I didn't know what else to say, so I settled for the easiest thing.

"Okay."

"Alright, so don't cry, Hermione," He said, wiping my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Everything will be okay, in the end."

As he kissed me on the cheek and walked back inside, I got the distinct feeling that when he said _'everything'_, he did not just mean what happened today. It left me feeling very warm... and also very cold.

So I dug through my purse and found an old notebook, which I had orginally meant to use as a grocery list. I tore out the first few pages with writing on them, took out a pen Arthur had thrust into my hands yesterday- claiming they were better and we all had to have one- and began to write.

_May 31st, 1998_  
_Journal Enrty #1_

_I'm not really sure how to write one of these bloody things... but here goes nothing. Ha, it's only the first sentence and I've already cursed. But seriously. The past week has been nothing short of exhausting..._

* * *

**A/N:** _Um... yeah. Not sure if this chapter is tipping the scales of the crappy-meter or not. I wrote it quickly, and... yeah. Anyway... you guys are so awesome! You really are. I enjoy hearing from you. I've answered probably 75% of the reviews I got, but that's more than usual! I'm just very busy, what with my classes, and sports, and choir, and hospital visits, and visiting my dad... 24 hours is not enough for me to get all of my stuff done each day._

_So tell me what you thought, please. Reading your hilarious/amazing reviews keep me from going completely insane, not that I'm not already there. Comments and criticism are welcome; Flames will be thrown at my brothers for my entertainment. -Nikki a.k.a.- Twipotterfreak28_

**Random Facts:** _I am obsessed with Ed Sheeran, who is musically and lyrically inspiring. You know, rapper/singer/musician/beatboxer/ginger extraordinaire. That's a damn good singer right there, and he's easy on the eyes, if you catch my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge. He's the inspiration for literally all of my stories, and I think you should go check out his music. He's just released his first album:) So what's your favorite artist/band? If it's Ed Sheeran... you get a cookie._


	4. Possibities and plans

_Hey! So... review, yea? This story makes me anxious... and I swear, I am the queen of angst. **TOMORROW IS D-DAY**. Meaning, I'm deleting stories tomorrow. If my stories that are up for adoption don't get taken, or a one-shot, they're going bye-bye. So save them if you want, 'cause they're leaving. I might bring them back one day, but there's no use in keeping them right now._

_Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling. We had lunch together, where she subtly told me she'd sue the pants off me if I claimed I was her. She's very intimidating in person._

_Beta'ed by **Sophia Lena Duchannes Riddle**. Therapy sessions co-written by **Kohana Moon**. (Thanks for everything, ladies.)_

**(Hermione pov)**

* * *

_Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?_

**-Ed Sheeran**

* * *

_June 5, 1998_  
_Journal entry #6_

_Today is Draco's birthday... and I'm very anxious about it. It's around 3 o'clock right now, and we've just finished eating cake and ice cream. Draco recieved a shirt from Molly, and it was very... sobering for him. He still said thank you, but it dawned on him that shirts and sweaters were all they had to give to their children. He felt terrible about tormenting Ron and Ginny all of those years- and he wanted to say something to them- but they came up to him before he could. They said it was alright, but I can tell Draco still feels terrible about it. But that's not what I'm anxious about._

_I didn't know what to get him for his birthday, so I asked him about it. He gave me box and told me to put on what was inside, and meet him in front of the burrow at 5. I haven't looked inside the box yet, so it's worrying me. It can't be much of a birthday present if he planned it, right? I'm just confused... I guess we'll see what happens, then. I just hope it's not what I think it is._

"Writing again?"

I turned around to see George walk up behind me. He had a wry smile on his face and patiently waited for me to answer. We'd been spending a lot of time with each other in the past few days, because we didn't pity each other like everyone else did.

"Yes," I answered, patting the free spot on the couch beside me. When he sat down, I put my hand on his knee. "I write in it everyday."

He nodded and we fell into a comfortable silence. With everyone, Harry and Draco included, there was _always_ a sense of anxiety around the silence. They would bounce their knees or their hands if we weren't talking, almost uncomfortably trying not to speak. So whenever someone was with me, besides George, we never stopped talking. We talked incessantly about the weather, or clothes, or quidditch... it was just nice to sit and be quiet once and a while.

"Fred had journals." George suddenly said, keeping his eyes on the pillow in his lap.

"What?"

"I didn't even know he kept them," He went on, smiling humorlessly. "I went through our room yesterday... and there they were. In a brown box at the bottom of the closet, just sitting there."

I kept quiet and squeezed George's hand for comfort, while he breathed deeply and wiped away angry tears. His hands clenched into fists and he wiped away the tears with the back of his hands, a scowl set in his face.

"I'm just so bloody angry," George gritted through his teeth. "We were supposed to be inseperable. We were practically the same bloody person! And he... he just goes and dies on me like this."

"He didn't know," I said gently.

"I know. I've been told dozens of times... but that doesn't change the fact that he broke his promise. He said we'd go on to be old men, gray and laughing in our wheelchairs while our families played around us. He said... he said we'd always be there for each other, Hermione. But guess what? I'm here and he's not!" George cried, bursting into tears and laying his head on my lap. "And then I find journals. Journals he never told me about... how could he keep that from me? We told each other everything... and it turns out he had so much more to say."

I rubbed my hand on George's deep red hair, rubbing his back at the same time. I let him cry onto my knees whiel I shushed him, not really knowing what else to say. What could I have said, really? No one knew how deep Fred and George's relationship was, so no one knew how to comfort him.

"Hey," I shook George, making him lean forward and look at me with red, puffy eyes. "You're going to get through this, alright? No one can tell you what to do here, George. It's your decision. But I can tell you that, if he'd had a choice, Fred would be here right now, planning ways to prank Ron and Percy with you."

George laughed and wiped away a few stray tears. "Maybe if you read the journals, you'll know him better. Or maybe he wrote them just so he wouldn't forget all of the fun tmes you had. I don't know. Just don't dwell on this for too long; it's not good for you. This isn't good for either of us."

"Yes ma'am," George mumbled, though the smile was visible on his face. He then glanced over to see Ginny standing in the doorway, smiling at both of us. "I'll just... go see what Harry's up to."

"Love you," Ginny hugged George as he left the room, then came over and sat down next to me. "I'm about to tell you something... and I don't want you to throw a fit."

"Alright," I said, with no emotion whatsoever.

If Ginny Weasley told you not to throw a fit about what she was about to tell you... then there was a cause for worry.

"In half an hour, I'm going to do every beauty treatment in the history of wizard kind on you, and you're going to put on a pretty dress and heels," She started, but held a finger up when I started to protest. "I made a promise and I'm not going to break it. So woman up."

"The phrase _'woman up'_ does not mean _'deal with being a beauty treatment guinea pig because you have no choice'_. What do I need to dress up for anyway?" I asked.

Ginny ignored my question, but got up and began searching for something. "Where is that box Draco gave you?"

Something clicked right then. "You guys are up to something. Just what are you planning?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out in two hours."

For the next hour and a half, Ginny scrubbed, pulled, and rubbed fruity-smelling cream on my arms, legs, face and neck, while she happily sung a tune stuck in her head. I didn't know what was going on; only that Draco was taking me somewhere. But why all of the extravagence? He knew I was a simple girl. I'd always be simple. So why?

"Okay, all done! I'm going to go get your dress, alright?" Ginny said, zipping away and returning before I could count to thirty. "Ready to see it? I bet you didn't even open that box."

"No, I didn't." I rolled my eyes and sat up, holding my arms out. "Lay it on me."

She unzipped the garment bag... and I gasped at what I saw. It was gorgeous. It was the deepest shade of sky blue... crystals on the top and all around the bottom, with tool bursting from the waist and floating down to the floor.

"Ginny, this is... It's..." I struggled for words.

"I know, right? I thought so when I picked it out earlier." Ginny then winked at me and handed me the dress. "I'll be back in five minutes; put the dress on."

I nodded as she left, and then held the dress out at arm's length. It was beautiful; there was no denying that. But would it look beautiful on me? I'd grown too skinny for my own good, surely it wouldn't fit right. I slipped it on and zip up the back with a flick of my wand, suprised at how comfortably it _did _fit.

"Are you done ye-" Ginny came barging in, only to stop and gasp when she saw me. "Hermione, you look beautiful! Merlin..."

I turned and looked in the mirror, gasping at what I saw. In the mirror stood a princess. A beautiful princess in a blue ball gown, surprise etched onto her features. Who was this strikingly beautiful girl? Surely that wasn't me. This girl looked too... normal to be me. I was thinner, more serious than her. But... it had to me.

The dress itself was astonishing. The corset was tight on the top half, but in no way was it slutty. It was strapless and curved ever so slightly, before going down to my belly button and flowing down in ribbons of sky blue tool. The crystals were so subtle- so barely noticeable- that you couldn't see them unless you were standing directly in front of me. But it was beautiful.

"I look..." I gulped, turning in the mirror. "Different."

"Different? Pfft. You look _amazing_, that's what you look like!" Ginny squealed, before handing mea pair of blue heels. "It's time, sweetie. Come on."

After I shimmied my way into the heels (that's a word, right?), Ginny led me to the top of the stairs. As I walked down, I kept expecting to see Draco standing there, like in theose cheesy muggle romance movies, waiting to whisk me away to some beautiful place. But that hope disappeared when we reached the bottom of the stairs- with no Draco.

Instead, Ginny lead me to the front door and told me to wait. I stood there for what felt like hours, when it was only a few minutes, holding my purse strongly and waiting for something to happen.

"May I?"

I turned and there was Draco, wearing black and white dress robes, holding his hand out to me with a smile on his face.

"Draco!" I gasped. "What are you_ doing_? What are _we_ doing?"

"I am standing... you are standing. I thought that was pretty obvious," He smiled and flinched when I smacked him across the chest. "Ouch, Hemrione. You hit hard."

"Don't be an arse." I said, trying to be serious. But the smile just wouldn't stay away.

"You're asking me to be someone else, then," He winked, then took my arm and led me to the street. "I know you're probably confused right now, but I'll tell you once we're on our way."

"On our way to where?"

He didn't answer, but instead waiting for a horseless carriage to pull onto the road, helping me inside while fiddling with his hands.

"You look beautiful," He said, kissing the back of my hand. "I don't think I've said that enough."

I blushed and rolled my eyes. "Where are you taking me? And what's with the dress?"

"Well... I mean, the way we got together wasn't the best," I shuddered, remembering that night at the hospital. "So I figured that I should give you what every other girl has. Consider this our first official date."

"We've already had our first date, remember? You took me out to eat weeks ago."

"That did not count. That was merely me caring for you by making sure you were fed. This is our first date." He corrected me.

"Okay, fine then. Just where are you whisking me away to, Mr. Malfoy?" I whispered, leaning closer to him.

"Well, Miss Granger, I believe you will find out if you look outside your window."

I smiled like a lunatic and practically threw myself to the other side of the carriage, where a small, square-shaped window stood on the door.

"Draco... wh-what is that?" I stuttered, looking at the lights scattered around the small field below. The carriage pulled to a stop at the dge of the clearing, and I could see many other couples dressed in fancy clothing, walking hand in hand toward the doors of the building.

"I believe the muggles call it a masquerade ball," He said, coming up behind me and opening the door. "There's this... er... _society_ that my parents were a part of, and they are having this ball to... lighten spirits a bit. I thought this would be a good place to go."

"But I don't have a mask-"

"Already taken care of." Draco smiled at me, before handing me a mask that covered half of my face, in the same color as my dress.

"Thanks," I mumbled, before tying the mask on. I saw that he had his own, black silk one, that he had put on while I wasn't looking. He then took my hand and led me out of the carriage, before slinging my arm through his and leading me up to the steps.

"Name?" The man at the door said.

"Malfoy."

We were let in and I gasped at all of the lights and people in the room. There were girls in short,_ short_ dresses with brightly overdone masks on, men standing around them, swaying to the music, and a few couples- dressed modestly- dancing in the corner, looking as if they didn't know what was going on. Draco kissed my hand and led me onto the floor, just as a very upbeat song started to play. He pulled me into his arms and began to slow dance with me. All of them looked to be in their early twenties.

"We don't match the tune," I said to him, glancing at all of the people grinding against each other around us.

"I don't care," Draco said huskily, pulled me impossibly closer. "I'm not really into the whole _'let's dry hump each other in public'_ thing."

"Uh... okay," I sighed, internally relieved he didn't expect me to dance like that.

We swayed a bit more before the song ended, and a slower, softer song started to play, and we finally matched the music. He twirled me around, making me laugh, and kissed my shoulder when I leaned against him. I closed my eyes to savor the feel of him. His hands on my back, my arms round his neck, his head on top of mine, my head leaning against his heart. The steady thumping of his heart soothed my nerves a bit, making me relax into his hold more.

"This has got to be the best birthday I've ever had," He suddenly said, before planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Why?" I asked, pulling away and looking him in the eye.

_Merlin, his eyes are beautiful._

"Because I got to spend it with you," He replied. "You're so beautiful... I'd swear you were an angel sent straight from heaven, just for me. And the fact that you want to be with me..."

I hugged him as hard as I could.

"You have no idea what you do to me, woman." He sighed, hugging me back. "I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. I hope you know that."

"I do," I nodded. "You've told me that dozens of times... and I believe you. I'd do the same for you."

He smiled and said nothing more, just going back to slow dancing, even though it was only us and two other couples still on the dance floor. I clasped my hands with his and got as close to him as I could, wanting to be engulfed by the warmth that was him. I was reminded of a song my father used to sing to me as a girl right then.

_A man may drink and not be drunk,_  
_A man may fight and not be slain,_  
_A man may court a pretty girl,_  
_And perhaps be welcomed back again._

_But since it has so ought to be,_  
_By a time to rise and a time to fall,_  
_Come fill to me the parting glass,_  
_Goodnight and joy be with you all._

I could still hear him singing to me, because mother was too tired to most nights. He'd tuck me in and pull me close, me falling asleep soon after the words had started pouring out of his mouth. And even if I'd fallen asleep, he would finish the song. His words had stuck into my subconscious making me memorize the song when I didn't mean to. I almost cried as I thought of him, but pushed the thoughts out of my head, not wanting to ruin Draco's birthday with my tears.

"Hermione," Draco whispered, pulling away and taking my hand. "Come with me."

I nodded and he led me outside, to what looked like was a small garden. There flowers and lights as far as the eye could see and the smell of freesia and cherry blossom plastered the air around us.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he turned and breathed.

"I would like to tell you something, and it may be a bit presumptuous of me right now, especially on our first date. But I'm going to do it anyway." He then took my hand and bent down until he was resting on one knee.

"Draco...?" I faded off, knowing the position he was in.

"Hermione, I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You're a special kind of girl and I'll never meet another like you. You make me so indescribably happy... and it's only been 6 months that we've been together. I don't know if you feel this way about me yet, but I'm hoping you will one day. You're going through a lot of things I don't know about and there's a lot of things I need to tell you that I haven't yet, and I want all the time in the world to tell you those things," He took a deep breath and squeezed my hand tighter.

I brought my hand to my mouth as tears began to stream.

"I don't have a ring and this is not the way I want propose to you. We're still young, and I don't want to force you into something you're not ready for. Hell, _I'm_ not ready yet," He chuckled humorlessly as he looked into my eyes, a more serious look coming over him in that moment. "But I want you to know that I'm going to spoil you until you yell at me to stop, and I'm going to love you with all of my heart, until the day you leave this earth. I'll never let you go and I'll always be there when you need me. Hermione Jean Granger, I'm going to marry you someday. Whether it be when we're nineteen or ninety, I don't care. I'll wait until you're ready."

I took my hand from my mouth and bent down until I was eye-level with him. I took my hands and ran them across his face, the spiky stubble of cheeks raking across my fingers.

"Draco... you're right. I'm not ready, and I won't be for a long time," I said softly, watching as his spirits fell. "But if you still want to be with me when I am, I'll say yes. I'll gladly marry you then. But if you find someone else... I wouldn't be angry. I'd understand."

Draco suddenly groaned, bringing his hands to his hair and gripping hard. "Why can't you just understand that I won't find someone else!"

I scooted back as far as I could at his outburst. Men yelling at me... it was unsettling.

"I'm sorry." Draco said, looking at me with an apologetic glance. "I didn't mean to yell. It's just... you don't realize how extraordinary you are. You're smart, and funny, and beautiful, and... I'd never be able to leave you, even if I wanted to, which I don't. Any man would kill to have you as theirs. There's not one girl on this earth I'd rather be with. There will never be someone like you, Hermione, and I wish you could see yourself like I see you. Then you'd know just how badly I need you."

I didn't say anything, but sat there as Draco crawled over and took my hands into his. He began to play with my fingers as I stared at him.

"I don't expect you to say anything," He started. "I don't know what this. I've never felt like this about anything or anyone... so I don't have anything to compare it to. There aren't any words to describe it, so I have to settle for the word_ 'love'_. It sums up a lot of how I feel about you. I love you, Hermione. I love you so, _so_ much. I believe that God made you for me specifically for me. There's too much here, between us, to throw away."

I nodded, closing my eyes as his thumbs swept across my cheeks, dragging the salty tears off of my face.

"I..." I started, not finding the words. "I- I don't know how to understand it, Draco. I just... I'm at a loss. I don't see things the way you do. I don't see futures and options and feelings in other people. But... I can see _something_ here. I don't know what it is or where it wil lead, but I want to take the chance.

Understand that I'm running blind here, Draco. I'm not going to pretend that I understand your feelings for me, because I don't. I don't expect you to understand the way I feel for you, either. This is new to me too. I get that you want to spend forever with me, but I'm not thinking about that right now. I'm barely getting by day-by-day. I can't think about that right now. I love you, too, and there's not a doubt in my mind that you would stay with me.

I won't say anything else about you leaving me. I know that you won't, now. If it's what you want- if you_ really_ and _truly_ want to be with me until the day we die- I will marry you someday. Someday far off in the future, when we've had a chance to grow like normal people. I'll say yes, Draco. Okay?"

"Okay," He breathed, leaning closer to me.

As our lips were just inches apart, he stopped for a second, as if he was changing his mind. Before he could pull away, I intertwined my hand in his hair and pushed his head forward, slicing through the everlasting friction like a hot knife through butter. His kiss was soft at first, gently moving against mine. Then the urgency was there, gnawing away at us both.

I realized then that we'd never _actually_ kissed before. Sure, he'd touched his lips to mine in a fleeting moment of joy, but it hadn't been as powerful as this was. All of those ignorant people that said love was not real and it never existed... they were so devastatingly wrong. There was nothing _fake_ about this. There was nothing _non-existent_ in the way he touched me and the way he cared for me. I felt bad for those people, who'd never experience love because they were so convinced that it wasn't real.

"Hermione..." Draco sighed as he pulled away, his forehead resting on mine as he tried to regain his composure. "If I don't stop now-"

"No one said you had to."

I pushed my lips back onto his, happy he would have me. He smelled of mint toothpaste and strawberries. How is it that he smelled like so many different things at the same time, yet I was able to tell distinctly what they were? How is it that he could taste like coconut and vanilla one day, and mint and strawberry the next? There was so much confusion revolving around this boy- this mysterious man who seemed to know a lot more about me than I've told- so many questions to be answered, so many assumptions proved to be wrong. He suprised me endlessly with his kind words and action; It scared me with how accurate he could be concerning me.

How could this _not_ be real?

I was taught to believe that fairy tales weren't real. I was taught to settle for average, instead of looking for extraordinary. I was taught that true love was rare, if it even existed at all. But by his kiss, his touch, his words, his eyes... was there any doubt that Draco wasn't my knight in shining armor, here to save the damsel in distress?

His lips moved firmly against mine, our eyes closed as we felt the vibrations crash through us. My body felt as if it were on fire- a magnificent kind of heat you didn't want to escape- and it centered in my lips. Nerves dissolved and everything melted away, just leaving us. His lips on mine, my arms around his neck, his hands cradling my face.

I knew I would never use the word _'love'_ to describe anything _but_ him again.

He pulled away then, gripping my hands tightly as he smiled. "I love you, Hermione."

"I love you, too." I whispered, giggling when he reached over and kissed my nose.

There weren't any more words needed. The silence was as comfortable as breathing, for it didn't have to be filled with needless words. He helped me off the ground and pulled me to my feet, tucking me under his arms and walking back inside. He twirled around the floor with me for a little while, laughing when I told him I didn't know how to dance. He simply smirked and said he would be leading anyway; I didn't need to worry about it. _So I didn't._

As we went back to the burrow that night... I was happy. Really and truly happy. Draco had confirmed that we would be together as long as I wanted him, that we could be a family of our when I was ready. That dream where I was expecting our baby came back to mind.

I wasn't afraid of that anymore! As cheesy as it sounded... I'd be honored to have children with him. A little girl who'd call him _'daddy'_ and have him wrapped around her little finger, or a boy who wouldn't let go of my legs when it was time for him to start school. Or maybe both. Or a few more than that. I just knew they would be perfect. I'd love them with all of my heart, and I'd love Draco even more for giving them to me.

"What are you thinking about?" Draco said softly, kissed my shoulder in an effort to get my attention.

I smiled back and sighed.

"Possibilities."

We arrived at the burrow, where I kissed Draco goodnight and said one last _Happy Birthday_, and I ran up to Ginny's room to find her reading a book on her bed. When she saw me walk into the room, she squealed and asked loads of questions about it.

"Oh, it was... just amazing. Thank you for helping him, Ginny." I smiled, before walking over to the bathroom and slipping out of the dress. I threw on a tank top and pajama pants, laughing when Ginny started jumping around.

"Oh! I'll go make us some hot chocolate, and then you can tell me all of the dirty details!" She clapped. "You know, I kind of wish Harry and I could go out like that... but he says he's not ready yet, which I completely understand. He doesn't want to hurt me, you know?"

"Yes, I do. He'll come around, Gin. He just needs a bit longer than everyone else," I patted her shoulder.

She nodded, making her way downstairs toward the kitchen. Ginny couldn't cook very well- much less make _homemade_ hot chocolate- so I figured I had around twenty minutes to do whatever I wanted. I dug out my journal and started scribbling in it from where I left off.

_Today has been... overwhelming. The day is almost over and I haven't come down from my high yet. Draco took me on a date and told me he wanted to marry me some day, when I was ready for it. It made me feel... amazing. It's like, there's this boy who wants me and only me... forever. Voluntarily. I keep thinking that I'm worthless and that no one would want to be tied down to me, but Draco is constantly proving me otherwise. I know that we're only 18, but I can't help but think that this is what love feels like._

_People say teenagers are too young to know what love is, but I don't feel young. Everything I've been through... everything I've experienced and done for my friends... it's molded me into an adult. I know I'm not ready to marry him yet. I know this is love. I love him with all of my heart and there's nothing I can do about it. They say to make a single person the center of your universe is a foolish and dangerous thing, but Draco is quickly becoming mine. I know that sooner or later everything will come crashing down on us and potentially ruin everything, but these times are worth it. His kisses and touches are worth any ache I could have. I hope that crash is far off in the future. There are so many things to tell him- so many reasons why I shouldn't let him touch me- and I need to tell him. I need to tell him what I did two years ago, and that he was on my list._

_I hope he doesn't hate me for it._

_-Hermione J. Granger_

* * *

**A/N:** _He already knows, Hermione. And that crash will come sooner than you'd like. I'm really going to hate writing the scene where Draco comes clean about his knowledge of the tapes, I don't know how Hermione will take it, and I know it has to be done. Next chapter is a therapy session since there wasn't one here. Thanks so much for reading and I really appreciate it. Review? I've been kind of stuck in a rut lately, and you guys' reviews are sweet and hilarious. **-Nikki a.k.a.- Twipotterfreak28**_

**Random Facts:** _When my mother was pregnant with me, the doctors told her my legs would be deformed and that I'd never be able to walk properly or play sports. What happened, you ask? Well, I've played Volleyball and Soccer for the past 8 years, my legs are completely normal- despite my clumsiness- and I've been running for as long as I can remember. Can I get a hell yeah on that?_


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